When you run a dog vacation business, you get to go to a lot of dog events. I particularly love the fall events, because they combine four of my favorite things: dogs, the great outdoors, kettle corn, and shopping. I mean, really, what more could you ask for?
But the people who run these events must think we dog owners aren’t that easily satisfied, as they always seem to be raising the ante with everything from Search & Rescue Dog Demonstrations to celebrity Doggie Moms.
Yes, you heard me right. We’re talking about actual dog moms, just like you and me, except that they have their own TV show…
I’d heard of the show before, of course. Like “Housewives of Whatever County,” it vaguely rings a bell; my brain is filled with the names of reality shows I never watch (largely because I’d rather flip channels continuously, so I can catch glimpses of Mets baseball without the full-blown pain of watching it straight up). But suddenly, it hit me: Someone is getting PAID to sit home being a dog Mom. And it’s not ME.
Now this is just wrong.
My whole life is dogs. I plan group dog hikes, dog birthday parties, dog holiday events. I run a dog meetup group (social group for dogs and their owners) with nearly 150 members. I teach prep classes and certify dogs for the AKC Canine Good Citizen program and the Therapy Dog program. I “Bark for Life” (a dog walk to raise money for cancer research) and run Pet Food Drives at work to support local animal shelters. I spend so much time at the dog park, my dogs could probably drive there by themselves (the little one loves to walk around the house with the car keys in her mouth, and the older one likes to sit in the driver’s seat, so it wouldn’t be much of a stretch!).
In fact, I founded Canine Camp Getaway of NY solely to provide my dogs with a fun summer vacation where they could swim in the pool (Lexie’s favorite thing) and lure course (Jessie’s favorite thing).
So, as far as I can tell, it’s simply not possible that there are five people out there who are more qualified than I am to be on a “Doggie Moms” TV show.
How did I not know about this when they were holding auditions? And if there are dogs with full-time, stay-at-home Moms, are my dogs being deprived, being “latchkey dogs?”
Anyone who’s ever owned a dog knows about dog guilt: the sad eyed stare you get when you BBQ dinner and no hot dog accidentally falls off the grill; the pathetic whine when they think they’re going on a great car ride, only to end up at the vet’s office; the heartbreaking looks they give you when you pull out a suitcase for a trip that doesn’t involve them. And that “It can’t possibly be Monday already — are you leaving me AGAIN?” look they give you when the weekend is over and it’s back to work.
Now I have the added guilt of knowing that my dogs could have had a stay-at-home dog Mom — if only I hadn’t missed my opportunity to be a “Doggie Moms” reality star.
Maybe I need to watch more reality TV after all. At the very least, perhaps I could make friends with one of the Mob Wives of New Jersey, who could knock off a Doggie Mom so I could get the job.